A conversation with my brain.
Brain: Seriously kid, what do you have going for you? I'll tell you the right answer: nothing.
Me: That's not true. I have some things going for me.
Brain: Like what?
Me: Well, I'm sort of tall I guess... I'm almost 6 feet tall.
Brain: Uhhh sorry, but the average height for 16 year old boys is around 5'10". You're only a little above average. Don't feel special.
Me: Well at least I'm attractive.
Brain: Let's see, last time I checked, you have never been with a girl. You have never even kissed a girl. How pathetic is that!
Me: Well that's just a confidence issue. I'm pretty socially awkward. I've come extremely close to having a girlfriend.
Brain: Oh you think that was close? Have you ever flirted with a girl in real life? If I recall, most of your "relationships" with females were based on texting and facebook messages.
Me: Well at least they were giving me compliments! They must have liked me, remember that time she called me "the most amazing boy in the universe?"
Brain: Yeah, she said that about a week before she started dating another guy. That tells you something, doesn't it? She was just a flirt.
Me: Well at least she was flirting with me, which is better than not flirting with me, isn't it?
Brain: That doesn't change the fact that you messed up. You completely missed your chance. And the sad part is, that isn't even the first time it's happened! It happened again this year.
Me: Let's not bring her into this. She loved me from the start. She was only pretending to like her boyfriend. Now they're broken up and I'm working on getting back together with her.
Brain: Was she really pretending? Think about it, if she was pretending, then why did all of your friends say how much she loved him? Were they lying? I doubt they were lying. Face it, there was definitely something between them.
Me: That's not true! I refuse to believe that!
Brain: And why do you think she ignores you so much, hmmm?
Me: She doesn't ignore me, she's just shy, like me!
Brain: That's what you would like to think. When she walks past you in the hallway, she looks away. She never texts you first. She never even talks to you in class as much as she talks to some other guys. What do you have to say about that?
Me: That's crazy, you're crazy, I'm crazy! I'm talking to my own brain!
Brain: This was intended to be a metaphor...
Me: Oh, right. Well at least I have a sense of humor!
Brain: ... that's what you would like to think.
Me: Oh brain, we're hilarious.
THE END.
But seriously, I'm going through some pretty tough stuff right now... I'm sure it will be over soon.
